Readers: When you separate phrases with a comma, you’re using it to substitute for words you don’t want to repeat. It makes for tight writing, which we love. But you have to use it right! Otherwise you create a grammatical mess.

We see the same mistake a lot. In nearly every case, adding “or” or “and” in the appropriate spot fixes the sentence.

For some reason we don’t understand, the greatest offenders in this regard are commercials for drugs, specifically in the usage warnings. We’re guessing this is wording the federal government requires. Sure wish those bureaucrats in Washington included someone with a basic grip on grammar.

Here’s an example (To avoid a nasty call from a lawyer, we replaced the drug’s real name with that of a stimulant used in “Star Trek”):

“WARNING: Do not take Formazine if you are nursing, pregnant or may become pregnant.”

Here’s what that sentence literally is saying:

• Do not take Formazine if you are nursing.
• Do not take Formazine if you are pregnant.
• Do not take Formazine if you are may become pregnant.

Is that what the makers of “Formazine” wanted to say? We suspect it’s not.

This is correct: ”WARNING: Do not take Formazine if you are nursing or pregnant or may become pregnant.”

Here’s another:

“Alert your doctor right away, as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness may be a sign of a life-threatening condition.”

Which literally means:

"Alert your doctor right away, as the following may be a sign of a life-threatening condition:

Difficulty swallowing

Difficulty speaking

Difficulty breathing

Difficulty eye problems

Difficulty muscle weakness

Huh? What you should say is:

“Alert your doctor right away, as difficulty swallowing, speaking, or breathing, or eye problems or muscle weakness, might be a sign of a life-threatening condition.” (By the way, say “might” instead of “may.”)

And here’s a Florida law firm’s commercial:

“For years we fought for people injured in car accidents, truck accidents, and from defective products.”

Here’s what that means:

• For years we fought for people injured in car accidents.
• For years we fought for people injured in truck accidents.
• For years we fought for people injured in from defective products.

Say, “For years, we fought for people injured in car or truck accidents, or injured by defective products.” (No charge for tightening and also changing the “and” to “or.”)

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/BOMaOxR3y_0

Next time: We aren’t done tormenting the poor comma.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!