From the Grammar Police

Oh, the joy of the morning paper!

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Use “that” for things but “who” for people.

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“Customer” is singular. “Them” is plural. Make up your mind!

Umm, why are you saying “tries?” She succeeded. The picture appeared around the world.

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This headline needs some CPR!

Update: Our July 11 “Grammar Police” segment featured an ad riddled with errors. There were so many, we missed one! After we sent the segment to our mailing list, loyal readers gave us a heads up, and were able at least to fix the segment online. Here it is again, with all goofs noted:

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Editorial comment: We like to poke fun at goofs in the newspaper. But the reason you’re seeing so many is that newspapers are bleeding money and can’t afford as many proofreaders. Want to reduce these mistakes? Subscribe. Advertise.

From the mailbag, responding to our July 18 segment “Horror in the Boardroom:”

“Please find me a new word to use instead of ‘pivot’. Hey we all had to pivot during the pandemic. Now is the time to pivot to your next gig. I can go on and on but I will pivot to the real masters of words.” — Larry Reines, Closter, N.J.

“One of my pet peeves after 45 years in the law: ‘Enclosed please find…’ vs. ‘Enclosed is/are….’ The word ‘find’ is superfluous. What is this? An Easter egg hunt for the enclosure?” — Bill Crawford, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!