In the last century, a lady named Emily Post made a living — and became a household name — publishing guides to proper etiquette. Some people found the advice quite valuable. Others were busy trying to figure out how to pay the next month’s rent.
The Horribly Wrong team is all for keeping courtesy and manners in a growingly rude world. But don’t go overboard. You can be cordial without having to use flowery writing.
“I want to wish you a happy birthday.” “I’d like to wish you a happy birthday.”
”Happy birthday.”“I’d like to thank you for all your hard work.”
”Thank you for all your hard work.”“We request the honor of your presence.”
”Please join us…”“It is my pleasure to introduce myself. May I introduce myself.”
”Hello. I am — “ (A pleasure to introduce yourself? Really?)“We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected…”
”You have been selected…”“Put on your dancing shoes!”
If any reader actually owns shoes designed only for dancing at social events, please advise and we’ll reconsider.“Enclosed please find…”
Spend ten seconds looking at this phrase.“Hope this correspondence finds you well.”
See #7.“Inquire within.”
We found this usage as far back as a newspaper advertisement in 1770! Within? Just say “Inquire inside.”“How are you?” ”How’s it going?” “What’s up?”
In each of these greetings, the speaker doesn’t really want to know how you are, what you are doing, or what might be in the sky. It’s a placeholder. Why not just say, “Hello?” (Note: The Horribly Wrong team acknowledges it might lose this fight under the “nitpick” doctrine.)
Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/vE0YNVWZzd4
Next time: Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!
NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!