Readers: Sometimes you hear a clever phrase or even a cliché, and, if you thought about it, you’d realize it just wasn’t correct. The Horribly Wrong team calls these “falsisms” (not a real word.) We’ve addressed some in previous posts. Here are more examples:
1. This is attorney Steve Pliseck. Call us for the best legal assistance.
This is? What is? If Steve’s assistant is pointing at him, she can say, “This is Steve Pliseck.” Otherwise, Steve needs to say, “I am Steve Pliseck.”
2. “My name is Sergeant John Smith.”
“My name is Jim Bean, general manager of Tulsa Ford.”
Are those really their names? Does it say “Sergeant John Smith” on his birth certificate? Is there a driver’s license that says “Jim Bean, general manager of Tulsa Ford?” No. their names are just John Smith and Jim Bean. How hard is it to say, “I’m Sergeant John Smith,” or “I’m Jim Bean, general manager of Tulsa Ford?“
3. It was the penultimate game of the “Ultimate Frisbee” tournament.
If you’re using “penultimate” as “greatest,” or “final,” you’re wrong. Penultimate means “next to last.”
4. Controlling their destiny. Controlling their fate.
Wrong, wrong wrong!!! Destiny is something that’s out of your control. Same thing with fate.
5. “For all intensive purposes, this election is over.”
Yeesh. How about, “all intents and purposes.” And don’t even use it correctly. It’s a brutal cliché.
6. Hockey experts agree Lebeau was a coaching whiz.
If you’re saying the guy was a wizard, short for that would be “wiz.” “Whiz” has to do with urinating. Common usage has defeated us on this one, so “whiz” has become mostly accepted. Discuss?
7. The police are in route.
“En route.”
8. My old girlfriend left me a momento.
Memento.
9. We dove in, irregardless of the danger.
“Regardless.”
10. “You're invited, Few Seats Available, Call Now!”
This is from an actual email sent out by a dermatologist hosting a seminar. Besides featuring not one, but two comma splices, and improper capitalizations, it’s vague about whether a few seats are available, or few seats are available. They don’t mean the same thing. The first is encouraging, the second a warning. Which was the good doctor’s intent?
11. "We'll slash Florida rebates by up to 60 percent."
Hmmm. Let’s look for someone who will give us the full rebate.
12. “Here, Here!”
Nope. It’s “Hear, hear.” According to masterclass.com, the phrase likely dates back to the 17th Century British Parliament, probably as a corruption of “Hear him! Hear him!” when noise in the chamber was drowning out a speaker making an important point.
13. The girl clinched her fist.
Nope. You clinch a deal. In this case, you want “clenched her fist.”
14. Don’t cast dispersions on our efforts!
The right word is “aspersions.” Dispersion: the action or process of distributing things or people over a wide area. Aspersion: an attack on the reputation or integrity of someone or something. (Thanks to loyal reader Dr. Baruch Kahana)
Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/qeTM-1-GWoE
Next time: More questions of style. And we don’t mean Ralph Lauren.
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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