English as a second language…

We’ve said this. If English is not your first language, how hard is it to find someone who’s good at English to look over your text? Or google it. In today’s internet world, you probably could check these in, oh, 30 seconds. . Plus, you spelled “lantern” right in one place and wrong in another. C’mon.

Here’s more. The advice we just gave is especially valuable when you are trying to scam people. The bad grammar sort of gives you away. Dontcha think?

Dear ____. A total of $096? You need to repeat scammer school altogether.

It works the other way around…

A multi-course meal with a fixed price is prix fixe.

And what’s their excuse?

We’ve gone from season to season. And this STILL is 16 million dollars dollars.

And this still is a half penny.

Are you really congratulating me on the great accomplishment of successfully ordering something on line? Really? It’s not like I got through law school.

It takes only…

Way back in January 2022, we talked about terms people use without realizing — or maybe without caring — that they’re shorthand for really, really, foul phrases. Ugh. You just remembered where you’re suggesting someone shove something.

Well, yes, wholistic is a rarely-used variation of holistic. We’re going to argue the writer didn’t know that.

We regularly beat up the TV folks over their gaffes, clichés and hyperbole when it comes to weather:

Who came up with this science/bureaucrat gobbledygook? “Tornadic activity” means “tornados.” So just say that.

And we’re guessing it’s forecasters who first used the term “moisture,” and TV picked it up. The sweat on the side of your glass of beer? That’s moisture. When flood waters are halfway up Seattle’s Space Needle, that’s more than moisture.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 82: "Womp bomp a loo-bomp, a-lomp bomp bomp!" https://youtu.be/UABE5QFK-Lk?si=h4co3qgYjHiyoYWM

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

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