Movies are full of what are called “tropes.” The late, great film critic Roger Ebert saw so many in his career that he assembled them in a book. The screenwriters are writing visual clichés. Still clichés. We said many times that relying on them is one of the most profound forms of lazy writing. Here are some tropes you’ll recognize right away:
An ugly duckling girl becomes beautiful simply by removing her glasses and applying a little makeup. On prom night, her beau will stare, jaw agape, as that former ugly ducking glides down a stair, now looking like a movie star. (What if you don’t have a second floor?)
The student gets on the bus at the last minute. The businessman jumps onto the back of the ferry as it’s pulling away. Nobody gets hurt.
There’s always a parking space on the street, right out front, even in places such as Manhattan.
Somehow, despite being blanketed by gunfire from numerous shooters, the hero is unharmed. He then fires wildly while falling and somehow kills every bad guy with a single shot. (see Star Wars.)
A man is bonked on the head. He instantly falls unconscious. He “comes to” a short time later, rubbing the bump on his head, but quickly has recovered and is clear-headed enough to identify the killer. (We covered this in 2021. A single blow would not be enough to cause unconsciousness. Or, or if it was, the person would not "come to" and quickly recover, but rather would be in a hospital with a skull fracture or other head injury. The person likely still would be unconscious. He possibly would be dead.)
A woman will, out of nowhere, need to run to the toilet, where she vomits within seconds. This means she is pregnant. (Many women will tell you that, during their pregnancy, they didn’t vomit once.)
The homemaker runs to the phone after it’s rung several times; she never is there on the first ring. She always is walking in from the grocery store. While few stores still use paper bags, that’s what she has. Sticking out: a bunch of carrots, greens still on top. And often a french bread, unwrapped.
People will drive for several minutes while looking at the front seat or back seat passengers, not the road. Nothing bad will happen.
Dad and kids come down to a breakfast table groaning with eggs, juice, coffee, cereal, and pastries. All will shout, “Sorry, I’m late,” then grab something to go and take one swig of coffee before dashing out. The wife apparently doesn’t work and doesn’t mind getting up early to make a giant breakfast no one eats.
Someone will run in and say “Turn on the TV.” The TV announcer then will give the news from the beginning. If that first person just heard it in the other room, by the time the second person turns it on, the announcer would be well into the body of the news story. Or done. Also, the first person never says what channel to turn on.
Out of nowhere comes a bolt of lightning and simultaneous clap of thunder, followed by an instant downpour. This is meteorologically possible, but not a fraction as common as movies would have you believe.
In a scene showing a couple just having had sex, the man has the sheet down to his waist, exposing his chest, while the woman has the same magic bedsheet up around her shoulders. When the two step out of bed, they inexplicably are wearing underwear.
People have mid-level jobs but can afford to live in an elegant apartment/home.
A person goes into a bar and orders “beer” or “whiskey” or “scotch” but never says what kind.
A man says to someone, “Dinner tonight?” He leaves without either person discussing when or where. Sometimes, they’ve just met, but neither asks the other’s address or phone number.
Readers: You must have tropes of your own. Send ‘em in!
Next time: You still aren’t tightening that writing. Get to it!
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!
