From the Grammar Police

Don’t need it? Omit it!

We’ve said many times that, next to fact and grammar errors, the greatest sin in writing is failing to write tight. Every unneeded word slows down your reader until she just gives up. Don’t take our word for it. The great William Strunk said it back in 1918: “Avoid unnecessary words!”

What else would a pedestrian be doing?

By the time you read this long and messy sentence, your food’s cold! Let’s fix it: “A 20 percent gratuity is added for parties of five or more.”

Again: This says six dollars dollars. Doesn’t it? Even these guys did not go on to say 44 dollars dollars.
(PS: While the dictionary accepts “cash” as “money or its equivalent,” we’re in the business of clarity, and we would use “cash” for physical currency, not a digital transfer. Readers?)

We covered this in January 2021 as well. If you’ve been convicted, unless it’s vacated at some point, you’re a con your whole life. Not an ex-con. Same rule goes for felon. Usually the writer means “ex-inmate” or “former prisoner.”

There ‘could be’ hostage deal.” (PS: They later removed “potential.”) Same mistake in the next one. It is a fact that he could be headed to LIV. There’s a rumor that he will be headed to LIV. Some of our top offenders fail to write tight by using too many qualifiers. Which makes them cowardly writers.

We dealt with this in our very first segment! All the way back in January 2021. Rules and regulations are different in only the most technical ways. For your purposes, they’re the same thing.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 63: Are you gruntled? https://youtu.be/m2-ld_hp3QI?si=Nkwu5C2uiUXFg1q5

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 83: "It's people!"

In our Feb. 25, 2024, segment, we fixed the bad grammar of great song lines. And then wished we hadn’t. This week, we do the same with movie and theater lines. And, again, we, well, wish we hadn’t. At least we’ll always have grammar.

•“We'll always have Paris." (Casablanca)
“We always will have Paris.”

• “All that glisters (glitters) is not gold.” (Merchant of Venice)
  “Not all that glitters is gold.”

•“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” (Princess Bride)
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Now I will kill you.”

•"Soylent Green is people!" (Soylent Green)
“Soylent Green is made from people!”

•"Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships.” (Black Panther)
“Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors who jumped from ships.”

•“…the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.” (Dr. Strangelove)
“…our precious body fluids.”

•"Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of." (Citizen Kane)
“Old age, Mr. Thompson, is the only disease of which you don’t look forward to being cured.”

•“I could have made love with you more often... or once, even.” (Love and Death)
“….I could have made love with you more often, or even once.”

•“Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! (Treasure of the Sierra Madre)
“We have no badges, and do not need them.”

•“How do you like them apples? (Good Will Hunting)
“How do you like those apples?”

•“I could've been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." (On the Waterfront)
“…which I am.”

•“Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.”
“Honey, I shrank the kids.”

•“Tell Mike it was only business." (The Godfather)
“Tell Mike it only was business.”

There must be more. Grammar Police: Send ‘em in!

“Life of Brian.” https://youtu.be/DdqXT9k-050?si=-quVx8YAhoGJOobL

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/8sJ00lvf_es?si=Fwaqxd-rMnCz5YQQ

Next time: Newspeak.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell editors, writers, teachers to tell their friends! Our goal: Double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Ripped from the headedlines!

Bruce Moore

Kathy Dull

Craig Pittman

Excited the vehicle? Not in a family newspaper! And running on food never is a good idea! (PS: This article says officers spoke only after the car became disabled. Oh, the power of a comma! “When the car became disabled, officers said, Jarrett…”

Again: As with “unique,” “iconic” is an absolute. It can’t be more or less.

The writer was attempting “Messrs.,” a now rarely used plural of “Mister” or “Mr.” Unless he was implying that former hockey all-star Mark Messier would be joining the presidential race, which is constitutionally impossible, as the NHL great was born in Edmonton.
(PS: it “darkens the political horizon.”

Born in Massachusetts or born in Ireland. Which is it?

Susan Salisbury

Good grammar in writing is where it’s at, baby! Just say, “Where is it?”

Dr. Baruch Kahana

It’s many accusations, but just one long list that was outlined. But that makes the sentence awkward. As we say, “write around it!” So: “The numerous accusations were outlined…”

Same thing here. In this case, we’d suggest, “Wave of attacks hits Moscow and Kyiv.” Or, “Wave of attacks on Moscow and Kyiv.”

Jan Norris

We’ve said collision is between two moving objects. The Rules Committee’s Lou Ann Frala reports our bible, the Associated Press stylebook, has dropped that objection. We still don’t prefer it. Also, the woman didn’t hit the pole; her car did.

We’ve explained this several times. This story doesn’t say the man allegedly did things. Nor does it say “police say.” So it presents as fact that he’s the murderer. Which, of course, is libelous. And raises the question: Of what was the man suspected when he definitely did these things?
Say: “Police say terror erupted…when a man walked into…”
And we probably wouldn’t say something as breathless as “terror erupted.” But that’s just us.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 64: Grammatical optical illusions. https://youtu.be/Vgt5xY_Y4Jg

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell editors, writers, teachers to tell their friends! Our goal: Double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 82: "Womp bomp a loo-bomp, a-lomp bomp bomp!"

Julian Luckham/Luckham Creative.

“The Horribly Wrong” team confesses to being of “a certain age.” But that means we lived through the golden years of rock n’ roll. Many legendary songwriters didn’t bother with correct grammar. Who was going to correct them? Well, we’ve done it. And we just…we…we just wish we hadn’t.

•“Lay lady lay. Lay across my big brass bed.” (Bob Dylan, “Lay Lady Lay.”)

“Lie lady, lie.”

•“Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone.” (Bill Withers, “Ain’t No Sunshine.”)
“There’s no sunshine while she’s gone.”

•"If they say I never loved you, you know they are a liar." (Doors, “L.A. Woman”)
“If they say I never loved you, they are liars.”

•“I can't get no satisfaction.” (Rolling Stones, “Satisfaction.”)
“I can’t get any satisfaction.”

•“She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care.” (Beatles, “Ticket to Ride.”)
“She has a ticket to ride, and she doesn’t care.”

•“Deeper than any forest primeval, I am in love with you.” (Dan Fogelberg, “Longer.”)
“My love for you is deeper than any primeval forest.”

•“When they said you was high class, well, that was just a lie…” (Elvis Presley, “Hound Dog.”
“When they said you were high class, they lied.”

•”Tell it like it is.” (Aaron Neville.)
“Tell is as it is.”

•”Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack.” (Bruce Springsteen, “Hungry Heart.”)
“Jack: My wife and children live in Baltimore.”

•“I don't know where I'm a gonna go when the volcano blow.” (Jimmy Buffett, “Volcano.”)
“I don’t know where I will go when the volcano erupts.”

•“I'm all right. Don't nobody worry 'bout me. You got to gimme a fight? Why don't you just let me be?” (Kenny Loggins, “I’m All Right.”
“I’m all right. No one should worry. Why must you fight? Just leave me alone.”

•“…he cried out in his anger and his shame, ‘I am leaving, I am leaving,’ but the fighter still remains.” (Simon & Garfunkel, “The Boxer.”)
“…but the fighter remains.”

•”One less bell to answer.” (Fifth Dimension.)
“One fewer bell to answer.”

There must be more. Grammar Police: Send ‘em in!

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/UABE5QFK-Lk?si=RETg7rn93X7AipJh

Next time: “It’s people!”

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell editors, writers, teachers to tell their friends! Our goal: Double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Lighthning strikes!

Lucy Minutolo Ramon

In spotting this goof, we were as fast as lightning. (Is this font too dark? Does it need lightening?)

We covered this in June 2021. It’s one of TV’s favorite clichés. And it’s a brutal cliché! Again: Have you ever wreaked anything other than havoc? And have you ever seen havoc occur any other way than having been wreaked?

Bruce Moore

A certain number of people comprise a committee. Compromise is a word that’s even rarer in Washington.

Opa! We love Greek food. But 0.85 drachmas is 85 percent of one drachma. And 0.85 cents still is not even a penny.

You have a lot of carpet and furnishings. So why say it? How about, “…to extend their lives and…” (At least the ad didn’t say “it’s life!”)

We’ve said in the past that this is used incorrectly. “Momentarily” means “for a moment,” not “in a moment.” So if you’re going to be connected to Wi-Fi just momentarily, you’d better get out your cellphone.

We talked at length in November 2022 about how “breaking news” has lost all meaning and has entered the realm of parody. The fact that the court is about to post rulings is not breaking news. When it does post them, that will be the breaking news. Maybe. (Also: the “Horribly Wrong!” team has said it isn’t keen on “release.”)

The breaking news is they went to lunch? We might not be able to beat this one.

Dang! We were wrong! Now potty breaks are breaking news!

And we go to the video archives for Segment 63: Are you gruntled? https://youtu.be/m2-ld_hp3QI

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell Editors, Writers, Teachers to tell their friends! Goal: double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 81: The Grammar Police meet the Gazpacho Police

Readers: The political season is heating up! Today’s politicians probably wish they lived in a time when there were no microphones to catch everything they say.
In our Sept. 24, 2023, segment, we talked about things politicians say. And in our May 8, 2022, segment on sports, we talked about malapropisms. This week, we combine! And list some great gaffes by politicians.
We note that slips of the lip are not the purview of just one political persuasion. Also, we anticipate skeptics, so we’ve added hyperlinks showing these quotes are real.

YouTube

NPR

“Gentlemen, get the thing straight once and for all—the policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to preserve disorder.” Chicago Mayor Richard Daley during the tumultuous 1968 Democratic Convention.

''There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.'' — President George W. Bush, Nashville, 2002.

“A zebra does not change its spots.” Vice presidential candidate Al Gore, 1992.

Encyclopedia Brittanica

''I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.'' — California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, 2003.

“Life is indeed precious and I believe the death penalty helps to affirm that fact.” — New York Mayor Ed Koch, 1985.

“No one…is the suppository of all wisdom.” Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott, 2013.

CBS News

''Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'' —Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, 1989

“Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package, 500 million Americans lose their jobs.” — U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, 2009.

"Now we have Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of Congress.” — U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, February 2022.

“He was a man of great statue." —  Boston Mayor Thomas Menino.

“This is unparalyzed in the state’s history.” — Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." — Vice President Dan Quayle in a 1989 speech to the United Negro College Fund, whose slogan is, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

''We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know.'' —U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Feb. 12, 2002.

“We are going to start winning bigly.” — Presidential candidate Donald Trump, May 2016.

Igberetv.com

“His mom lived in Long Island for 10 years or so, God rest her soul. Although she’s…wait. Your mom’s still alive. It was your dad that passed. God bless her soul! I gotta get this straight.” — Then Vice-President Joe Biden to the then-Irish prime minister at a 2010 St. Patrick’s Day event.

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/IeHRjiz6V5U?si=OsIq5krvObLyV6EM

Next time: Lie, lady, lie.

Vox Populi: Our Jan. 28, 2024, column asked for suggestions for non-gender replacements for he/she and him/her. Even Horribly Wrong’s bible, The Associated Press stylebook, notes: “As much as possible, AP also uses they/them/their as a way of accurately describing and representing a person who uses those pronouns for themself.” We asked readers to create a word. Loyal reader and occasional contributor Bob Yankowitz opined:
“…There have been suggestions, which have so far gone nowhere.  For he/she "Ze," and "Hir" have been proposed, with equally strange variations. "Mx." has been proposed to replace Mr. and Ms.  I'm not in favor of any of them. Took me 20 years to get used to Ms., so I figure I'll be dead before I'd get used to any of these.”
Readers: Keep ‘em coming!

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell Editors, Writers, Teachers to tell their friends! Goal: double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Some graphics writers just don’t give a dam!

Candy Hatcher Gregor

Lots of incidents, but just one wave that scares beachgoers.

Same mistake. Lots of planes, but just one grounding that cripples the route.

Do you know regulatory bodies which result in physical injuries? We don’t either. That’s just wrong! We searched the internet and this particular outlet had mistyped the quote. It says, “…any regulatory body and could result in physical injury…”

When you blow out your opponent, the result is a blowout.

Again: Everyday is an adjective meaning common. You stretch every day.

Does this mean several spots on the left side but just one on the right? We’ve heard about the fight for restroom parity, so we asked someone who’d gone in, and, well, there’s space for more than one woman.

Specialty. And no apostrophe!!!!

In a segment back in March 2021, we explained that “troop” is a unit. It isn’t a synonym for a soldier. We weep for these three soldiers.

Jeff Burns

We barely can bear to see mistakes like this. This is about the former group Lady Antebellum. Should be, “bore the same name.”

And we go to the video archive for Segment 62: Say it. Don’t spray it. Part two. https://youtu.be/bK5GaUocSJA

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell Editors, Writers, Teachers to tell their friends! Goal: double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 80: What's my line?

A name becomes an acronym. And after a while, no one remembers the original. Try these out. Then see how you did. LSMFT!*

• 3M

• AFLAC

• ALS

• AT&T

• BMW

• CBS

• COVID

• EPCOT

• ESPN

• FIFA

• GEICO

• GIF

• NABISCO

• NATO

• NCIS

• QANTAS

• SCUBA

• URL

• WD-40

• ZIP

• 3M Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing

• AFLAC American Family Life Assurance Company of Columbus

• ALS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis

• AT&T American Telephone & Telegraph

• BMW Bavarian Motor Works (Bayerische Motoren Werke)

• CBS Columbia Broadcasting System

• COVID Coronavirus disease

• EPCOT Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow

• ESPN Entertainment and Sports Programming Network

• FIFA Fédération Internationale de Football Association

• GEICO Government Employees Insurance Company

• GIF Graphics Interchange Format

• NABISCO National Biscuit Company

• NATO North Atlantic Treaty Organization

• NCIS Naval Criminal Investigative Service

• QANTAS Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd.

• SCUBA Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus

• URL Uniform Resource Locator

• WD-40 Water Displacement 40th formula

• ZIP Zone improvement plan

*Lucky Strike means fine tobacco!

Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/JOHeh2FbItA?si=xl09xdeXPx58aZnm

Next time: We’re not here to create disorder. We’re here to preserve disorder.

Vox Populi: In our July 13, 2021, column, we commented about English not having a non-gender pronoun (he or she). And we said they or them doesn’t work because it’s a plural. But as society has become more open and considerate about non-binary people, they/them is becoming the go-to. In the mid-1980s, to deal with a related dilemma, folks adopted Ms. So we need to create a word to replace the inaccurate they/them. Readers: You’re on the clock!

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Darn those mispelings!

Tom Peeling

Robbie Kleinberg

And we go to the video archives for Segment 61: Say it. Don’t spray it. https://youtu.be/tbDJcSLX5rs

From the mailbag: In our Jan. 7, 2024, segment, we asked for help on the origin of “framed.” Longtime reader and occasional contributor Milt Baker wrote: “Here's what ChatGPt says… ‘The use of “frame” in this sense suggests the act of creating a deceptive framework or structure around an innocent person.’”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 79: More hiding in plain sight

Happy 2024!

cookthink.com

In our Feb. 12, 2023, segment, we talked about clichés and phrases people use every day without knowing what they really mean or their origins. Here are more.

1. Living high on the hog. The back and upper legs of a pig were the most expensive parts, and your access to them reflected your wealth.

2. Bringing home the bacon. A story says in Essex, in England, a royal was so impressed with a local couple’s love for each other that he awarded them a side of bacon. The prize still is given out in the town. The term now refers to financially providing for a family.

3. Honeymoon: The phrase is said to stem from the Scandinavian tradition of a couple drinking mead, a drink of fermented honey, during their first month (“moon”) of marriage to improve the chances of conception.

4. Salary: In Roman times, salt was very valuable, for its use in preserving food and as a spice. Roman soldiers sometimes were paid not in coin but in salt. (Latin: sal)

5. Piping hot. According to the UK’s Phrase Finder, it comes from “the sizzling, whistling sound made by steam escaping from very hot food, which is similar to the sound of high-pitched musical pipes.”

7. It rings a bell. This phrase, about something that sounds familiar, has several possible sources. One is that of scientist Ivan Pavlov, who famously proved the concept of conditioning when he rang a bell every time he fed his dogs, until eventually the ringing alone made the dogs salivate. It also might refer to the fact that we respond to school bells, alarm bells, dinner bells. Readers?

8. Not worth a plugged nickel. Unscrupulous people would drill holes — into coins and "plug" -- fill -- them with cheaper metal. Sounds like a lot of work!
9. Safe and sound. This dates back to when “sound” was a common adjective for being undamaged or uninjured. It’s still used in wills, as in, “of sound mind and body.”

6. Close to the vest. This term for keeping your thoughts to yourself probably comes from the poker strategy of keeping your cards close to your body so nobody can peek at them.

Etsy

10. Off the cuff: This phrase for saying something spontaneous or unrehearsed dates to when men wore removable shirt cuffs, which made for handy note pads, especially for actors who couldn’t remember their lines.

11. Framed. This term for concocting a story or evidence to inflict guilt on an innocent person goes back to 1900 and perhaps the 1500s, according to the online etymology dictionary. But even that esteemed group was unable to say how the phrase happened. Readers?

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/ZZwXrZqo50I?si=Fc4U_aKMXiNUV6Os

Next time: Do not remove tag, under penalty of law!

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

WE’RE STARTING OUR FOURTH YEAR!

The 2024 presidential race is on! And already folks are making grammatical mistakes.

One word if a noun. Two words if a verb:
“I got to my seat right at kickoff.”
“Primary hopefuls kick off campaign.”

We pulled this off TV back in August 2023. It brings up the issue of “breaking news,” which we contended, back in January 2022, has lost all value and likely has entered the realm of parody. In this case, the breaking news was when the former president was indicted. The obligatory arraignment which followed is not breaking news. Big news, but not breaking. Also: This graphic was on the air more than 24 hours after the arraignment. Really? Nothing breaks for that long.

This is a “chronic.” Several officers attend the arraignment, but a group of them attends. Just omit “Group of” and attend works.

Wendy Rhodes

Once you’re elected, you might want to do something about Public Works. Our Grammar Police correspondent reports every space in this lot was misspelled the same way.

Lynn Miclea

The brilliance of the bureaucracy.

This is another item in which we know what authorities mean but can't swear to it. Does this mean parking is unlimited and free after business hours (which we surmise), or that there's no parking after hours?

Same dilemma. Does this mean any emergency stopping must take place the shoulder, or that the shoulder should be used only for emergency stopping? Or both?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 60: The most horrible of “Horribly Wrong.” So far. https://youtu.be/4lmcGQSusSA

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 78: What's in a name? (Olympus edition)

Happy New Year! We’re wrapping up three years of “Something Went Horribly Wrong.”  
In the last two segments of 2023, we told you about eponyms, words named for people. Here’s a bunch that go back to Greek mythology. Opa!

Achilles’ heel:  As a baby, Achilles was dipped by his mother in the river Styx, making him invulnerable – except where she held him by his heel. In the Trojan War, an arrow fatally struck him there.

Aphrodisiac: For Aphrodite, the goddess of sexual pleasure.

Erotic: Eros was a deity of love.

Hypnotize, mesmerize: Hypnos was the god of sleep. In the 1700s, French physician Franz Anton Mesmer theorized disease resulted when the flow of an invisible fluid through the body became blocked, and devised treatments that involved putting his patients in trances.

Kimberly Lin

Narcissist/Echo: These unrelated terms come from the same Greek story. Narcissus, a handsome hunter, was in the woods when he saw his image in a pool of water and fell in love. Echo, a nymph, was stricken with him but could not pull him away from his reflection. In despair, she wilted away, leaving only her echo sound. Narcissus starved to death and his body turned into the flowers that bear his name.

Odyssey: The phrase for a long and difficult journey is an homage to Homer’s epic tale of Greek hero Odysseus (Ulysses) and his decade-long voyage home following victory in the Trojan War.

Platonic love: The great philosopher Plato argued people could share a close bond without a sexual relationship.

veritas71

Volcano: Vulcan is the Roman god of fire.

Panacea: The term for a cure-all is named for the Greek goddess of cures.

Pandora’s box: The term comes from the fable of the first woman on earth. Her curiosity leads her to open a locked box containing the world’s ills, and loose them on the world. She finds one thing left in the box: hope.

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/C-FnP5aE82Q

Next time: Maxims that ring a bell.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

White Christmas?

You don’t have to live in South Florida, as we do, to know that this in no way could be a photo of a college in Boca Raton, which doesn’t get nearly that much snow. Or any.
The operators of this web page might argue this is an image of one of the other colleges — 30 in all — that this article lists as “the worst,” and you’d see when you click in. But this photo doesn’t appear on that list at all. Nor do any Florida schools.
We did an image search. This is a college in New England which the respected U.S. News and World Report ranked 67th out of 1,859. So this picture is not Boca. And it’s not a worst.
To whoever is responsible for this clickbait: What college did you attend? Any?

We repeat: If your company is targeting an American audience, but English isn’t your first language, take a minute to find someone for whom it is. Then you won’t end up mixing verbs and adjectives. Or both misspelling a word AND forgetting to make it plural.

Bruce Moore

You avert a shutdown. Advert is British lingo for an advertisement.

We spotted this at a seniors complex. We argue this sign is redundant; that disrepair is presumed to be temporary.
(Lou Ann of the “Horribly Wrong” team does point out: “Unless it’s the elevator on ‘The Big Bang Theory.’ That one was broken for the whole 12-season run.”)

This was at another senior development in a different town. See a silver button? We don’t either. We finally found it, several inches below the emergency phone (see our red arrow). Not very user friendly! Especially in an emergency. In a facility full of seniors. Management should know better.

This graphic popped up on a 24-hour news network early on a Saturday morning, so we’re inclined to have a little compassion for the overworked writer.

Same network. Same day. In this case, remains is redundant. Isn’t it?

Probably would’ve been better to arrive at the hospital by ambulance.

Dan Scapusio

This awkward wording suggests the Palm Beacher had two fatal drug overdoses.

For the millionth time: Police say this guy definitely fired into a crowd. Then why do you say suspect? The attribution already covers you. You know what? Just take out the word! “…Sheriff’s Office says police shot and wounded a juvenile who had fired into a crowd…” And let’s split the over-long sentence at “game.”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 59: A second set of eyes. https://youtu.be/MkWtPCuGaQU

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 77: Watt's in a name?

Last time, we did a segment on eponyms, words named for people, and there were so many we had to do another.

Bluetooth: The Scandinavian makers of the revolutionary wireless device named it for 10th century King Harald “Bluetooth” Gormsson, noted for a dead, discolored tooth.

Ferris wheel: Pittsburgh structural engineer George Washington Gale Ferris Jr., who inspected steel for the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, brought up the idea for an enormous metal wheel to rival the Eiffel Tower.

Freudian slip: Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, described these speaking errors that reveal secret thoughts – usually sexual.

jacuzzi.com

Jacuzzi: The Jacuzzi family, early 20th century Italian immigrants, developed various forms of water pumps in California. In 1968, Roy Jacuzzi created the world’s first integrated whirlpool bath.

Paramount Studios

Mach 1: The sound barrier is named for Austrian physicist Ernst Mach, the first to systematically study supersonic motion, in the 1880s. He made important contributions to understanding the Doppler effect, and influenced a young Albert Einstein, who called Mach the philosophical forerunner of relativity theory.

Marxism: German philosopher Karl Marx co-wrote the Communist Manifesto in 1848 and authored Das Kapital in 1867. Both predicted the collapse of capitalism and championed pure socialism. His writings inspired many early 20th century communist regimes.

Molotov cocktail: When the Soviet Union invaded Finland in November 1939, Soviet foreign minister Vyacheslav Molotov claimed his forces were dropping not bombs but humanitarian food packages. That prompted Finns to sarcastically label bombs as “Molotov picnic baskets,” and later to use the term “Molotov cocktails” for their own improvised firebombs of glass bottles, gasoline and cloth wicks.

Murphy’s Law: “If something can go wrong, it will.” The most accepted origin story is that, during a test at what’s now Edwards Air Force base in California, some sensors were installed backward, prompting engineer Capt. Edward A. Murphy to utter a variation of the infamous phrase. Wordorigins.org says it found several versions, dating back to the Roman empire!

Jim Crow: Starting in 1828, performer Thomas Dartmouth "Daddy" Rice had a successful stage act in blackface, as an exaggerated, highly stereotypical character. Soon the phrase became a racial slur. By the end of the 1800s, it instead described laws and customs that oppressed African-Americans.

Lynching: During the American Revolution, Charles Lynch, a Virginia planter and justice of the peace, headed an irregular vigilante court formed to punish loyalists outside due process.

Ponzi scheme: In 1920, the Italian immigrant launched the scam now named for him, in which existing investors are paid with money collected from new investors. Ponzi went to prison.

Salmonella poisoning: In the late 1800s, veterinarian Daniel Elmer Salmon was first chief of the federal Bureau of Animal Industry and established its Division of Animal Pathology. A colleague who first identified the bacteria behind a disease named it for Salmon.

National Park Service

Teddy Bear: President Theodore Roosevelt came up empty during a 1902 hunting trip in Mississippi. An assistant cornered a black bear and tied it to a tree, and associates brought the president over. He refused to shoot it. A political cartoon satirizing the incident inspired a Brooklyn businessman to create a stuffed toy, “Teddy’s bear.” 

Volt, Watt: In the late 1700s and early 1800s, Italian physicist Alessandro Volta made a number of discoveries in the early field of electricity, leading scientists to name for him the unit for electromagnetic force. Scottish engineer James Watt’s improvements to the steam engine were a significant factor in the Industrial Revolution, and in the late 1800s, pairing the Watt engine with Thomas Edison’s electrical generator allowed generation of electricity on a large scale.

Zamboni.com

Zamboni: In 1940, refrigeration businessman Frank Zamboni and relatives opened a giant ice skating rink in Southern California. At the time, resurfacing ice was done by hand and took several workers more than an hour. In 1949, Frank developed a machine that would shave the ice, remove shavings, and wash and squeegee the surface. 

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/XimRMXn3olw

Next time: More words that are names. Ye gods!

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Placement!

Back in August 2021, more than two years ago, we devoted an entire segment to the misuse of “only.” We noted that a national insurance company has made a grammatically incorrect phrase its punch line. And now, a major phone company has started a campaign that makes the same mistake! We suspect many an English teacher has reminded these guys that this sentence suggests you don’t eat, breathe or sleep; all you do is pay for what you need. Correct: “Pay for only what you need.” Clearly the firms can’t say they didn’t know. We suspect they don’t care. If only…

Same rule. “…members get paid only if debt limit solved.”

“Only” strikes again! Everyone knows the restaurant doesn’t really mean what it wrote, which would be that no humans, cats or robots are allowed; just service dogs. But the place on the right figured it out. (We could have done without the extraneous comma and excess capitalization.)

He’s not the former disgraced president. He is, depending on your point of view, the disgraced former president. (PS: “Smith’s office announced it expects…")

It’s not Gaetz’s role that ousted McCarthy. Say, “Gaetz’s role in question after McCarthy ousted.”

Remember: The verb goes next to the phrase it is “verbing.” (Not a word.) In this case, the county “soon could require school uniforms.”

Same problem. Shark attacks “still are rare.” And scientists argue very few shark encounters are “attacks” and use of the term is inflammatory and dangerous.

We’ve covered this before. You don’t allow a map to be redrawn. You can’t allow it to do anything. You can’t direct it to do anything. You can’t order it to do anything. It’s an inanimate object. You allow people to redraw it.

Nope. Sadly, something definitely was recovered. How about: “The Coast Guard said last week that likely human remains have been recovered…”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 58: Hundred-dollar words and ten-dollar words. https://youtu.be/OIbEVkRo0qQ

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 76: What’s in a name?

An eponym is a word named after a person. Some are self-explanatory. Some are more obscure.

Adam’s apple: The throat feature – women do have them, just not as prominently – stems from the biblical story that the forbidden fruit stuck in Adam’s throat.

Axel jump (ice skating): Norwegian skater Axel Paulsen introduced the jump back in 1888.

Ball jar, Mason jar: John Landis Mason invented the jar in New Jersey in 1858. William Charles Ball and his four brothers invented a variation in 1880 in Buffalo and took over Mason’s patent when it expired. The Ball brothers went on to found Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana.

Boycott: 1880s Irish tenant farmers refused to do business with a British estate manager, Charles Cunningham Boycott.

Chauvinist: Nicolas Chauvin was a character in the 1831 play La Cocarde tricolore who was noted for his excessive patriotism and devotion to Napoleon.

Cologne: Named for the French pronunciation of Köln, the German city where it was created in the early 18th century. At the time, French was the official language of international commerce, and smart marketing said “Eau de Cologne” sounded better than “Kölnisch Wasser.”

Diesel: In the 1880s, German engineer Rudolf Diesel developed an internal-combustion replacement for steam power.

Fahrenheit: The now-archaic system used by America, and just about nobody else, was developed by Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit, a German scientist born in Poland in 1686.

Architectural Digest

Gaudy: Some believe this term for “tastelessly ornate or showy” refers to the avant-garde Spanish architect Antoni Gaudi (1852-1926), most famous for Barcelona’s “Sagrada Familia” (holy family) cathedral, under renovation for more than a century, but finished any day now! Actually, “gaudy” dates back to old English of the 1600s.

Gerrymander: In 1812, Massachusetts Gov. Elbridge Gerry (actually pronounced with a hard G), a Founding Father, approved a plan to bizarrely redraw districts to benefit his party.  

Guppy: in 1866, Robert John Lechmere Guppy sent specimens of the fish from Trinidad to the Natural History Museum in London.

Hobson’s choice: Meaning a choice between two untenable options, it was named for Thomas Hobson, who, in the late 1500s, ran a British mail service and rented his horses to college students off hours. When some mounts became overworked, Hobson told the students to take the horse nearest the stable door, or none. 

Masochism, Sadism: In the 1800s,  Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose name became a term for a sexual need to be dominated or punished, wrote of women as femme fatales who sexually victimize men. And in 1785, the Marquis de Sade, imprisoned in Paris’ Bastille prison, wrote 120 Days of Sodom, a sexually explicit account of four men who kidnap selected victims for a nonstop orgy and subject them to rape, torture, and various mutilations.

Pasteurized: In the 1860s, the famed French scientist Louis Pasteur developed the process of heating wine to destroy microorganisms, and later extended it to milk and other spoilable substances.

Nicotine: Jean Nicot de Villemain, a French ambassador to Portugal, sent tobacco seeds to Paris in 1550.

Poinsettia: In 1828, Joel Roberts Poinsett, an American botany enthusiast and the first U.S. ambassador to Mexico, brought back the colorful plant to his South Carolina home.

Sandwich: While the idea of meat jammed between two pieces of bread dates back centuries, legend credits English politician John Montagu, the fourth Earl of Sandwich, who sat for 24 hours at a gaming table, too absorbed to leave, while people brought him the meal later named for him.

Saxophone: In the 1840s, Belgian-born musical instrument designer Adolphe Sax wanted to create an instrument that combined the best qualities of a woodwind with those of a brass instrument.

Shrapnel: 18th century British artillery officer Henry Shrapnel developed a "spherical case," a hollow cannon ball filled with shot which burst in mid-air. It later became a term for any ordnance fragment.

Valentine: The saint, or saints, for which the day of romance is named, reportedly secretly performed illegal weddings in the third century and were beheaded.

Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/hQVSnrqZBUM

Next time: A million volts worth of words that are names.

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Loyal reader and occasional contributor Robin Kert noted this item in our Nov. 26, 2023 segment: “Good neighbors curb their dog.” Sounded like one dog. We suggested, “Good neighbors curb their dogs.” Robin writes, “How about ‘Good neighbors leash their dogs.’ Straightforward language everyone understands.” “Horribly Wrong” is about clarity. We therefore CONCUR.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Ho, ho, ho!
No, no, no.

It’s the official start of the Christmas shopping season! Nothing says “festive” like shoving your way in when the place opens the day after Thanksgiving, fighting for the last doll, standing in lines that stretch out the door, waiting on hold for an hour, or staring at that little spinning circle of death on your computer screen. What joy! At least companies, groups and governments get in the spirit by finally getting grammar right. OK. They don’t.

Again: No apostrophe in chocolates. And this still would be three fourths of a penny.

Isn’t it amazing how misplaced punctuation can make something unintelligible? And what about the wordy writing? Let’s fix this:
“We gladly will provide a store credit or exchange within 48 hours of your purchase, if for any reason you’re not satisfied with our service or any of our products. You must provide the cashier’s receipt.“

May we retire “process your request?” Imagine taking a stool at your corner pub and ordering your favorite ale and the barkeep says, “I’ll process your request.” It’s bureaucratese at its foulest. Plus, there’s a strong suggestion that nothing will happen anytime soon. And by the way, we have a problem with “request.” You want our money or not?

These folks must be pretty good neighbors to share one dog. Let’s do: “Good neighbors curb their dogs.” Or, “Be a good neighbor. Curb your dog.”

We talked in September 2023 about how formal writing sometimes goes too far. This goofy construction is similar to “Please be advised.” Thank you. Yes! I will be reminded. I’ll get on it right away.

Jonathan Petersohn

Wow! Florida’s official state college has an official state collage! It must be a beautiful piece of art.

You might know by now that this is one of our all-stars. Again: It’s not a hot water heater. In fact, it doesn’t heat hot water, except to make it hotter. What it really is is a cold water heater. Let’s just go with “water heater.”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 57: Not so fast! https://youtu.be/12-t1jqtMEw

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 75: Even more clichés

https://whsjohnnygreen.org

We’ve explained in previous segments that clichés are words or phrases that early on were really, really popular, so everyone used them. Way too much.
You thought we’d listed all of them?
Recently, we found a marvelous list of hundreds of clichés at Lisa Lepke’s “Pro Writing Aid.” Do yourself a favor. Make this list part of your “stylebook.” If a phrase is here, don’t use it! It’s a no-brainer.
Some of our favorites:

Unsplash.com

• Beating a dead horse.

• A blast from the past.

• As the crow flies.

• A last-minute decision.

• A picture's worth a thousand words.

• All bets are off.

• All's well that ends well.

• As far as the eye can see.

• Bad egg.

• Better safe than sorry.

• Don’t judge a book by its cover.

• He had an ax to grind.

• He’s a man after my own heart.

• He’s as good as gold.

• I’m all ears.

• I’m as happy as a clam.

Unsplash.com

Iowa Agribusiness Network

• It’s a drop in the bucket.

• Ignorance is bliss.

• It was all hands on deck.

• It’s a fate worse than death

• It’s all in a day's work.

• The grass is always greener on the other side.

• Play your cards right.

• It’s as easy as pie.

• It’s no bed of roses.

• Read between the lines.

• It’s a no-brainer.

Watch this on video! https://youtu.be/oBzRQ8kfg2o

Next time: What’s in a name?

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Retailer: Offer a retired English teacher a few gift cards to look over your signs and ads! Worth every penny.

Strap on your cummerbunds. We’re going to a party!

Scott Simmons

What do you wear when you are picking out glassware?

The last thing you want to see in your chocolate mousse is a…

Our complimentary ice cream complements your meal. (And what the heck is Iceam?

Good spelling is more than a convenience. Dealing with typos is no convinience at all.

It would be locked for your guests’ safety.

Scott Simmons

If you want to buy some stationery, you’ll have to remain stationary.

St. Pete has beautiful beaches and a major league baseball team. But no “H” at the end.

Who came up with “rideshare”? It’s wrong! Yes, when you rent a car, Hertz is “sharing” its car with you, but you are paying for that privilege. Outfits such as Uber and Lyft should be described as, for example, “app-based car services.” Or, the “Horribly Wrong” team just could go to its bible, the Associated Press Stylebook, which calls for “ride-hailing” or “ride-booking.”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 56: Back to school. https://youtu.be/KbPNFffGfvY

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
A headline recently used the spelling judgemental. The dictionary says both it and judgmental are acceptable, but the first mostly is used in the UK, and the latter in the U.S.
Lou Ann, our Rules Committee, consulted the Associated Press stylebook, our bible in such matters. Her report: “AP’s dictionary of choice says judgmental. (Webster’s New World College Dictionary, fifth edition).”
SO ORDERED.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 74: ¡El español es fácil!*”

“Hello. Elections office? I thought candidates had to keep their signs a distance away. I went to vote Tuesday and I saw a sign right at the front door that said, ‘VOTE AQUI.*’ Who is this Aqui guy, and why does he get special treatment?”

Our March 27, 2022, segment dealt with the writers’ minefield that is foreign words, phrases and images. In the past few segments, we’ve covered the different ways Americans and their British and Canadian cousins struggle with the same mother tongue. Today we talk about the influence of what all would agree is the closest thing in this country to a second language: Spanish.

Eliot, growing up in South Florida, didn’t have to actively learn Spanish. It got into his pores. He would inflict his bad Spanish on the counter people at the Cuban coffee shop. He read the Spanish-language papers. He even watched the legendary telenovelas. (¡Mi esposa! En la cama con mi hermano! ¡Morir! ¡Morir!*”)

Here are some words we stole from Spanish: (If a lot of these sound Mexican, well, duh! Look at the map!)

• Patio

• Burrito

• Macho

• Lasso

• Avocado

• Canyon

• Tornado

• Plaza

• Armada

• Flotilla

• Vigilante

• Platinum (From “plata,” “silver.”)

• Buckaroo (From “vaquero,” “cowboy.” “Cow” in Spanish is “vaca.”)

• Guerrilla (From guerra, war)

• Mosquito (The diminutive of mosca: “little fly.”)

• Alligator (From “el lagarto,” “the lizard.”)

• Florida (Explorers would name new lands for the current festival back in Spain; in this case, Easter’s “Festival of the Flowers,” Pascua Florida. (PS: Juan Ponce de Leon was NOT looking for the Fountain of Youth!)

• Los Angeles (from “El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río de Porciúncula;” ”The Town of Our Lady the Queen of Angels of the Porciúncula River.”)

• San Antonio: Anthony
  San Bernardino: Bernard
  San Diego, Santiago: James
  San Francisco: Francis
  San Jose: Joseph
  San Marco: Mark
  Santa Rosa: Rose

One final note: If you get frustrated with immigrants struggling with English, keep in mind that they speak at least two languages. How many do you speak?

(Special thanks to Dan Scapusio)

Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/vzU3FLgw6_E

Next time: We beat a dead horse.

From the Mailbag: Longtime reader and occasional contributor Robin Kert read our Oct. 29, 2023, Grammar Police segment on people who mix up whales and Wales. She asked, “Can you go whale watching in Wales?” Robin: Here you go.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!